Damn the dumb, i BOO HOOed on Kevin Hill just a few minutes ago…..:hissy:

That hooker *baby’s momma* is goin to hell…and her Preacher of a husband is too…:thumbsup:

BITCH. :mad::mad::wtf:

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There’s very few times that i’ll get really deep on here, so i guess you should just…..pay attention while I’m in the whole “revealing” mode. I guess I’ve been thinking a lot the past few days about the other part of me that i rarely EVER talk about because it’s easier to forget than to talk about it. Somewhere…*i know where*….i have a brother out there…

It’s becoming more prevelant to me that he wont be around for those upcoming special days that I’d love to have him around for. He hasnt been around in the past….so i guess it doesnt REALLY matter, but he was in the wedding dream and the prom dream….even though he wasnt around, he was always there, however miniscule his appearance or role was. Growing up an only child had to be one of the greatest things…there was no fighting over toys or arguing over who had the car for what night and for how long. It was easy. But i guess there was always that little part of me that wanted to have someone to fight with. Someone i could yell at every once in a while, just because.

The last time i spoke to him, I was a Senior enjoying my last few days of High School…..that makes it about…..5 years ago. Even though i didnt like him back then, I’m able to put aside his faults now and replay all of the good things. I’ve only seen him once….which was actually the first time I met him. I was 9 and he was 18. Yep, 9 years older than me…..that makes him 31 now. I dont know when his birthday is….nor if he’s married, or if he has kids……I dont know if i’m an auntie or if i should be sending gifts on birthdays. I’m sure that if something happened to him, I’d get a phone call….once again through the grapevine….

While it’s hard to miss something I never had, the thought does cross my mind sometimes….”wonder what he’s doing”….”wonder if he’s okay”…..but i dont think I’ll ever get up the nerve to do the research, because if I did find him, i’d wanna give him a piece of my mind…

I’d tell him how he missed prom…..he missed the highlights…how it’d be great for him to meet my friends…how i’ve been dying to introduce him to the love of my life….how i wanted him to be there when i walked down the aisle….and most importantly…

how i’m mad at him for being a jerk and for missing all those days that were important for me…how i’m mad at him for acting the way he did when our dad died….for not caring enough to pick up the phone when he knew that I couldnt.

But i think once i got through the logistics, I’d be happy to claim him as ……well, what he’s supposed to be….my brother. Until then he’s non-mentioned, non-existent….he’ll still be in my dreams though, with his fuzzy un-recognizable face….

I just wish i knew him….but I dont. I dont know him.

Have a good Hump day guys….

xoxoxoxoxoxo

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I guess i could give reasons (to all the greek folks, i know what excuses are….i pledged) like —he’s in another country (Barbados) so it’ll be expensive…or…i dont have his most recent info…but I guess, i just wont know what to say…. @ everyone

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Things are good and I can’t really complain. After work yesterday…*left at 3*, i set off to the ‘ridge to get some gym time in. I think my body’s fighting me…:thumbsdown:.It’s content on where it is, and all this extra gym and walk time is really starting to get on its nerves…….eh well….it’ll get over it. lol. Charging the IPOD at work so that i can just get on the treadmill and go without having to worry about how much time i spend using the IPOD and concentrate on getting fit in the areas that need to be fit. :thumbsup:

Things are going good on the moving side as well…my old manager called me up to find out when she can come get my executive desk…lol. Everyone in the complex is fightin over that thing….maybe i shoulda sold it instead of giving it away. They’ll have fun getting it OUT of the apartment…..EH WELL…as long as they dont mess up my computer SETUP, i have no issues. :soapbox:

I’m guessing we’ll start moving the rest of this crap this week and this weekend….packing has gone okay…just taking my time since i HAVE time….

And just so you know…I’M VOTING FOR Villagarosa. :thumbsup:

Anyways, hope everyone has a good Tuesday…..

xoxoxoxoxoxo

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