you’re hurting- a poem written FOR a friend

I heard about your loss,
the other day,
the same way I find out about other things,
in your life that have significance….
through that grapevine.

i wanted to call you
and see if you were okay
but deep down inside,
i knew there was nothing i could do
nothing that would make you be you,
once again.

i wanted to tell you
that I’m sorry and that I’m
here if you need me,
that is….

I’ll run wherever you want me to run
i’ll walk, skip, hop a train and land,
wherever you need me to land.

I’ll crawl, flip, and hitch-hike
to that destination that is you,
within you.

But since I can’t reach you,
i’ll pray that you’ll be okay,
and that you’ll reach ME,
one day.

So I can tell you
What I think you should know,
But until I can tell you,
to your face….here it goes:

She’s okay, ya know….
everything will be alright…..
She’s in that big cloud in the sky,
watching YOU as YOU drive by.

She’ll continue to be in your life,
as long as you let her exist,
Whether your standing,
Or on bended knee, head bent between closed fist.

The piece of you that you never spoke of,
but silence was golden,
golden enough to know that SHE
was a big part….
a big part of who you are, and what makes you
the man that you are….

You never had to say a word,
Any noun, verb, or conjunction, would seem ubsurd,
Never could explain the worth of her,
Never could explain the worth.

You’re hurting…..and I hear you……
It’ll be alright…..
It’ll be alright one day….

*as Carl Thomas – “I’m Missing You” plays in the background*

you dont get it do you?
you don’t get it

when i tried to hit you back for that one last chance
at romance,
you sounded as if your head was on straight
and you still had a place for me,
in your heart that is.

when i attempted to tell you that i missed you
and needed you back HERE and not there
where you are now,
you explained that you heart ached just as much as mine
same beat, same rythm.

when i explained to you that i wanted to chill
to be friends first and lovers later
because it would last longer
and feel stronger
when you were back in MY vicinity
you gave me the line…”of course, that’d be great”.
so i atttempted to wipe clean our slate.

but then those friendship emails and phone calls that i wrote
turned into crimes of passion which left you
crying and wondering whether or not you
of all people, my love,
could handle me.
u always did hate long distance relationships.

i was willing to say, i’ll wait
for you, that is.
when you get back….
i’ll be here….
with open arms
and an open mind
and an open heart.

but before i had a chance to reiterate that fact
you were gone.
existence of you ceised and you
became a figment
until the homie called and said
that you were still alive
and you just wanted to be friends.

my mind existed where yours was because
it could.
there were no faults, no losses,
and no part of me that strayed from the mindset
that you left me in here
but if my crys of passion and love,
were too much for you,
then i’ll stop
and you’ll still be that figment of my imagination
that gets one phone call
and one email
a month.
that’s what friends are for right?